The Son of the Suns - Innocence
by Red October
Summary: Anakin's unedited thoughts on his life and Qui-Gon's death...directly after TPM (non-slash, of course)


Title: The Son of the Suns - Innocence

Author: Lauren A.M. (Red October/Jedi Scooter) 

Rating: PG 

Summary: Directly after Qui-Gon's death, Anakin gives his defense...includes details from shortly after TPM

Disclaimer: The characters go to Lucas. The plot and ideas outside the movies and books are mine; everything of mine is Christ's. Its all simple that way. :) 

Feedback: Please leave comments!

Dedication: To Kev (Qui and Obi) to Lizzy (Brook) and Kay (er...Kay) who influenced this short...thing...for our RPG...To Will, who puts up with me way more than he should, to Roxy and Tami who keep me sane (sometimes -g- )...and to all my reviewers, especially those who tell me what can be improved, and what they would like to see....

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Anakin was always uncertain, full of unrest; both innocent emotions at most. But more often than not, such emotions were misinterpreted as restlessness and anger, presumptions that the child was only too eager to fulfill. He was not a hateful being, far from it, but full of passion for all that he did. His opinions, his actions, and his thoughts where all carried out in extremes. He had never had a father to direct his actions, and indeed his mother often didn't know what to do with him. 

Now Qui-Gon might have been something close to a father figure if it weren't for his retentive character. It was as if Master Jinn was a simple overlooker of like, and stepped in only to direct others for his own amusement. Anakin admired such attitude, but the way of the elder meant he usually withheld praise or truly joyous encouragement and because of this he pushed Anakin from him, thus the boy sought kindred souls to fill the space. However, the slight nod or thoughtful look that Qui-Gon sometimes shared when regarding the boy's accomplishments where tenfold the encouragement Anakin's best slave masters had given him at the end of the day. 

For years the boy had been starved for attention outside his home, and upon having finally grown used to not being noticed he had been whisked away to a place where his every waking moments were under harsh inspection. Now, after Qui-Gon's passing, to add to the complication, and often, Anakin thought, to saddle him with another burden, he had been given the title of "Chosen One" and had been expected to live up to it with or without guidance. But Anakin fed off the attention and affection like a leech out to rob another of life, attaching himself to those who would give him the time of day gladly and without regret. These people he sought to suck dry, it seemed, testing them and trying them at every opportunity, often without conscious though or provocation. After all, his experience with trust or loyally, rather abstract concepts in and of themselves had been extremely truncated for nearly nine years. 

He was now venturing into increasing apprehension; acting out at loved ones as if to push them away, yet only seeking closer companionship. Even his most recent fit of anger had been manufactured to secure his place among friends and adopted family at the Temple. If his actions where abhorrent, his intentions, in the beginning, were pure, or innocently ignorant at most. Unless actively provoked, one could find no hatred in Anakin, one of many reasons the Council had given into requests for training against all protocol and tradition. 

And as Anakin had heard through rumors after the death of Qui-Gon, his training would be put in the capable hands of a young Knight who had suffered the traits of anger and haste for just as long as his soon-to-be-apprentice. If experience was the best teacher, then Knight Kenobi should be quite adept to take the volatile Skywalker and mold him. What could a former Padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn not do, if able to harness Anakin's spirit? 

All this, in mere moments, Anakin considers as he twists his way from Qui-Gon's cold funeral pyre, his journey taking him to the blue stone lining the palace gardens, his path running past the meditation alcove where Obi-wan had remained for hours. The weary child slumps against a low, evergreen tree, his soft handsome face twisted with silent fear and streaked with tears...

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"Expecting the world to treat your fairly because you're a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you're a vegetarian." - Dennis Wholey


End file.
